When you were little, upset, and alone, you may have felt that you had no choice but to stay upset.
Everyone has an inner judge, or critic. It can lead to a lot of suffering. Sometimes it is downright mean, for example telling you that you’re stupid, fat, or ugly, when it’s not true.
The more relaxed our bodies are, the easier it is for us to trust the truth, feeling it in our bodies, rather than only knowing it in our heads.
This is a very quick and simple method to get out of your head and into your body, enjoying calmness in the present moment of the here and now.
We have all experienced being upset about something, and spending time getting more and more upset (worried, angry, hurt, jealous, guilty, and so on) as we mull over it, hence throwing fuel on the fire.
The great thing about wondering is that it is so simple and something we frequently do without even trying.
Everyone has what we’ll call “big mind”, which is quite wonderful, capable of planning, problem solving, great ideas, and creativity.
Many people are worriers, and know of family members who are worriers, as it tends to run in families, so may not think much of it.
The “Good Mom” is that part of you that does a great job of handling the family, or the different parts of you.
I will begin by telling a little story that is a metaphor for this method:
Our patterns of being, or the way that we are organized to make us feel, think, and behave in certain habitual ways, can be thought of as a tree, with various past experiences acting as roots and significant branches to the tree.
This piece is meant to be experienced rather than just read, and is much more impactful that way.
Imagine you are in the midst of a cycling trip from Lake Louise to Jasper, Alberta.
Imagine a beautiful spacious house, full of lovely comfortable furniture, cozy warm soft blankets, beautiful flowers and plants, and a lot of sunshine.
This simple and quick decision-making method utilizes your body to help you determine how you feel.
There are many ways to escape a negative emotional experience: alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, food, gambling, shopping, sexual experiences, sleep, and work to name some.
If you have ever been out walking or hiking in nature, you will know that your view changes depending on where you are.
Imagine with me that there is a part of you that is like a crying infant, and that cry is something you feel that you just can’t handle.
Some of the posts on this blog, or parts of them, are best experienced as a meditation, rather than being quickly read through, in order to get more out of them.
It is important for truths to feel true in our bodies, rather than to be just known as true in our heads.
In the well-known book, play, and film “Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde”, a man is portrayed as having two very different aspects to his personality: one good to the extreme, and the other, the embodiment of all that is evil.
It has been a huge honor to learn about the inner worlds of many, many people. It turns out, it is really common that people put up with a nasty negative voice, offering criticism about their thoughts, words and actions, and predicting disaster. It is an inner judge, or whatever you prefer to call him. But here’s the good news: fighting your inner judge is a long but rewarding battle, as you liberate yourself a bit each time you win.
Become aware. The first step is to pay attention to how you are feeling, including paying attention to body sensations.
This is a simple yet powerful experience that is a great healing habit to foster. It is a healing interaction between the best part of you, which is like a perfect parent, and the wounded child consciousness in you.