Some of the posts on this blog, or parts of them, are best experienced as a meditation, rather
than being quickly read through, in order to get more out of them. You can either read, stop
and meditate on what you’ve read, then read the next short part, and so on. Or you can record
it, read slowly, and listen to it, again allowing images, feelings, and other experiences to be
noticed. This is particularly true of this one.
Other posts that are best wholly or partially experienced as a meditation include: CREATING A
POWERFUL INNER RESOURCE, THE CASE FOR COMPASSION VS. JUDGEMENT, and MANAGING
SMALL MIND.
First, choose any two emotions that are opposite. As an example, I will use here love and
anger. Allow the experience of love to be there in your body. To invite it, you can think of
memories, people, pets, places: anything that invites the feeling. Notice where all in your body
you feel it and what it feels like. Now invite anger to be experienced in your body. Again, use
anything you wish to invite the feeling, such as memories, things that typically anger you, and
so on. Again, note where all in your body you feel it and what it feels like.
Now go back to feeling love. Once it’s there, go back to feeling anger. And back to love again.
Now invite the sensations that go along with love to be present in the right half of your body,
while those that go along with anger to be in the left half of your body. Notice what your mind
does with this. Does it perhaps say that that is impossible? But what does it know? Once
you’re there, go ahead and switch sides, so that anger is experienced on the right, and love on
the left. Once there, let’s switch back one more time.
During the last several minutes there has been a lot of change going on, with different
emotions, memories, sensations, then opposite emotions simultaneously on the opposite
sides of the body, then changing places. The experiencing part of you has been experiencing a
lot of change. At the same time, there has been a separate part of you just calmly observing
(then calmly reporting) everything that has been going on. The invitation now, and for the rest
of this meditation, to focus on this separate “observing” or “observer” part of you, and to
identify with it. We are going to explore its qualities together. Does it seem to you that it could
also be called “awareness” or “consciousness”?
While the experiencing part of you was undergoing all those changes, was this awareness itself
also changing, or was it remaining the same, just calmly observing the changes? Take the time
to notice and enjoy just how calm and peaceful this part is.
Whereas you might not have been aware of its existence, was this awareness there the whole
time since we started this meditation? Will it be there in five minutes? In one hour? In four
hours? Tomorrow? One week from now? One month? One year? Several years from now?
Can you imagine one day a long long time from now, this awareness calmly watching your body
take its last breath, knowing that the body is no longer needed, just like it has calmly watched
everything else throughout the years?
And was this awareness there before you started this meditation? An hour ago? Yesterday?
Last week? Last year? Many years ago? When you were born? Remember, you don’t need to
be aware of its existence in order for it to be there!
Is there a time when it will no longer be there? Is there a time going backwards when it was
not there? Take your time to discern for yourself based on your observations now, not based
on prior thoughts or beliefs, whether this awareness seems to be eternal ie having always been
there, and will always be there. In other words, does it seem to be be beyond and separate
from what you normally identify yourself as defined between birth and death? This alone is
huge, as it speaks to our fear of death.
Let’s keep exploring the qualities of this “awareness”. If it’s always calmly observing whatever
is going on, is it then free of fear? Of shame? Of anger? Of Hurt? Of jealousy? Of confusion? Is
it in fact free of all negativity? Wow!
If nothing can change it, never mind hurt it, is it afraid of anything? And does it need anything?
Is it complete? It seems pretty powerful then, doesn’t it?
Being free of all negativity allows it to be free to be what? Calm and peaceful, we already
discovered. Continue experiencing that as you continue identifying with it. Is it loving? From
this place visualize some people being happy, and notice if there is happiness for them. Is that
out of love? Now visualize a frightened child, and notice if you there is compassion for him. Is
that out of love? So there’s freedom from negativity, and it’s loving and compassionate. Is it
also free to be creative? Playful? Kind? Is it free to be everything positive? Take your time with
all of this. Wow!
Does awareness know how to judge? Or is it full of understanding of reasons, a deep
knowledge that people are doing their best, even when their best is really bad, and
compassion? Does this awareness fight against reality, or does it calmly accept things as they
are, even if there is sadness and compassion for people suffering? Does it see incidents in
isolation, or does it have a broad perspective, understanding the big scheme of things? Is it
wise?
When it sees A and B hurting each other, does it, from its calm observing place, feel an urge to
rush in and rescue, or does it observe with compassion, knowing that this scene is a part of
each of their journeys, and that there are lessons to be learned for each?
So far we have discovered that it is eternal, afraid of nothing, needing nothing, free of all
negativity, loving with all that that is, compassionate, accepting, wise, and everything positive.
Now let’s ask where this awareness is, and whether we can localize it. Some people initially say
that it is in their head, or somewhere in their torso. If you look in these places, you will find it.
But let’s check and see if it’s anywhere else in the body as well. Close your eyes and hold out
your arm. Without seeing it, do you know where your arm is? Of course. So is it in your arm?
Is it in your leg? Is it everywhere in your body?
What about the space around your body-can you imagine it there? What if you go out a bit
further? And a bit further still? Can you find a line anywhere that separates where the
awareness is and where it isn’t? In other words, can you find its outer margin? If not, does it
fill the room? your neighborhood? your city or town? your country? the world? the earth? the
universe? Is it in fact infinite as well as eternal?
Like everyone, ever since your birth, you have been deeply conditioned to perceive yourself as
a separate individual. From the beginning of language development, people spoke of your
name, your family, your crib, your toys, your food.
But what if this awareness were your true nature, or the essence of your being? We could then
refer to that separate named individual that you thought you were as your “bodymind”, as
Eckhart Tolle and many others refer to it. It would then be the bodymind that experiences life,
while awareness looks on. Inherant in the separate view of self is a potential sense of threat
from another, who could hurt me, judge me, or reject me. In contrast, one’s awareness is one
with everyone else’s awareness, so there is a sense of unity and a lack of threat.
Some people might refer to this awareness as spirit. Others might call it consciousness, or
mindfulness. The name is less important. It is the best part of you. It is the most pleasant to
experience, and when operating from here, you have access to all of what is best in you: your
equanimity, groundedness, proper perspective, understanding, clarity, compassion, strength,
creativity, good problem solving skills, your greatest capacity to love, to accept, to endure what
you need to, the courage to change what you can, the wisdom to discern the difference, the
ability to have healthy boundaries, the ability to not take things personally, and so on. The
wonderful thing is that this wonderful energetic state, which is calm nonjudgemental
awareness, is always available-anytime and anywhere. One way to invite yourself here is to
begin by picking any object such as something you are perceiving with one of your senses, or a
thought or feeling. Then ask yourself: “Who is it who is aware of this?” The answer is, of
course, awareness. Then ask: “What is this awareness like?” The answer is a reminder of all
the above qualities, and you find yourself enjoying the calmness, the sense of quietness and
spaciousness, and so on. Alternatively, you can invite yourself into calm nonjudgemental
awareness. From here, you can wonder about anything, then wait to receive what comes up.
Imagine a beautiful spacious house, full of lovely comfortable furniture, cozy warm soft blankets, beautiful flowers and plants, and a lot of sunshine. The owner of this amazing place is a wonderful host, full of interest in you, curiosity, understanding, love and compassion. He wants to welcome every single part of you with open arms. He wants to get to know every part of you. There is plenty of room even for parts of you that feel opposite of each other, parts that are in conflict, parts that want opposite things. He does not know how to judge.
There is understanding and compassion for the part that is angry and the part that is guilty about the anger. There is understanding and compassion for the self-judgement, and for the judgment about the self-judgement. He understands that you have always been doing your best all things considered, even when your best has not been very good. In his compassionate arms on the cozy furniture, all wounded parts can be transformed and healed. The unconditional love, acceptance, and compassion of this wonderful host and house act like magic.
Knowing that this place is available, the vulnerable parts can emerge gradually from your subconscious to be welcomed home and healed. Every human being has parts, whether conscious or not, who feel things like fear, hurt, anger, and shame. Everyone has parts that feel unloveable, not good enough, powerless, and so on. Healing of vulnerable parts allows you to become increasingly aware of very positive aspects of yourself: of love, wisdom, joy, strength, compassion etc. These are also welcomed into the house with love, honoring, and celebration.
Can you feel the sense of space and safety here? One patient, who has major issues with her body, reported seeing herself walk very comfortably naked, in every sense, in this house.
This host and house is a representation of your calm nonjudgemental attention, which is also referred to as mindfulness. As you may have gathered, it can be perceived as divine in nature.
Why not make a habit of spending time in your amazing healing house, enjoying the transformation of yourself and your life as you do so?