2020 is a year different from any other, for most people alive on this planet. It holds at the least, countless compelling reasons to feel stress, challenge, and a sense of threat to what you hold dear in your life.
Worry at a time like this is entirely understandable. However, worry is not actually helpful, and can even detract from your ability to respond to the challenges around you.
Wouldn’t it be great to have tools to equip you and those you love, to stay well despite these circumstances? Below are seven helpful approaches to use on a daily basis.
1. Be vigilant to catch yourself worrying – and then, abandon that line of thinking. You can use the phrase “I’m not going there”. Worry comes from a part of us that has a rich imagination and is more than capable of imagining bad things, often with “What if_____?” thoughts. “What if” thoughts are not helpful, and are best avoided. The mind can come up with a seemingly endless number of “What if’s”, and especially if such turns in the road are pretty unlikely, it is simply wasting your time and making yourself feel bad to go there. 95 % of what people worry about never happens. Don’t engage in “nothing is 100% safe” thinking. For example, if it’s very likely that you won’t lose your job, expect that you won’t lose your job, instead of worrying about the possibility of losing it. In contrast, if something positive is likely, go ahead and expect it. Planning, which is done calmly, is different from worry and fear.
2. Cultivate your sense of agency: a sense that you can handle whatever happens. Reflect on the truth that ultimately, you will be okay no matter what. Identifying with your spirit gives you a sense of intactness that cannot be threatened by anything, including death.
3. Take the time to allow your body to relax. It is MUCH easier to feel your innate optimism and sense of agency when you are relaxed, compared to when you are tense. There are several ways to invite yourself to relax. First, put any topic you are ruminating about aside.
Then:
a. focus on something in the present moment, such as your breath, or something that you are sensing: seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling, or tasting, or
b. relive a pleasant memory, bringing it vividly into the present, including what you are perceiving with your senses and what you are feeling;
c. use a meditation, or other tried and true method you know and love, to get you to a place of peace, or,
d. use the container exercise (see article on CONTAINER found at drnorahagen.com).
Stay focused on the above. With mindfulness, just observing with curiosity and no judgement, notice how your body is starting to release the tension it was holding. Be patient and allow all the tension to be released. Notice the sense of trust that builds, as you feel more intact despite the stresses external to you.
Once your body is completely relaxed, take this opportunity of clarity to start to wonder about what you know to be TRUE. Think about specific areas in your life which have been worrisome. Be careful to take this on slowly, and reflect on only one topic at a time.
Notice how right these truths feel in your body, letting you know that you can trust them.
Wondering can lead to reassurance, trust, and can lead to specific, tangible ideas to equip you to problem solving. What is one action you can take today which would improve things for yourself, your partner, your family or your community?
4. Physical exercise is a powerful tool. It helps you both physically and emotionally. Plan to engage in a physical activity each day. Pick an activity that you enjoy. You can jog, do stairs in your own home, dance, watch something or listen to music while you’re exercising – the possibilities are endless. Fresh air and nature are very helpful if you can go outdoors..
5. Stay connected with others, and do so regularly. Whether by phone or virtually, connect with family and friends at least every day. Go out of your way to share things which amuse or inspire you.
6. Make the most of these unusual times. Take on a project, whether it’s decluttering, having fun in the kitchen, meditating or exercising more, or anything which will bring you joy, or a sense of structure, accomplishment, or meaning. Helping others feels good. For myself, I am making photo albums for our kids and learning Spanish online. One can enjoy good books, movies, boardgames, good comedians etc. Let your creative juices flow. One family rewrote lyrics of a song from Les Miserables to a COVID theme, and performed it. The sky is the limit.
7. If necessary, limit how much news you expose yourself to.
All things come to an end, and this pandemic also will end. Wouldn’t it be good if at the end of it, you can look back and feel good about the toolbox you used: the skills you learned and habits you developed to help you through it which you can continue to benefit from for years to come? Wouldn’t it be good if you can look back and feel proud of how you handled it, and the things you created or did? Hardships and challenges are an opportunity for growth and development of character. Why not use this opportunity?
Powered by GoDaddy Website Builder